Hole in One!
by Nova-chan
Summary: Xelloss, Lina, Zelgadis, and Gourry go golfing...and insane.


Hole in One  
  
Author: Nova-chan  
  
E-mail: IlovemenoV@aol.com  
  
Series: Slayers  
  
Rating: G  
  
Summary: Lina, Zelgadis, Xelloss, and Gourry are ready for some putt-putt golf. Well, not really, but they're doing it anyway because of powers beyond their control. Lina can't seem to sink one ball in one hole, Zelgadis nearly has a heart attack, Xelloss, for one reason or another, decides to take vengeance on all the flamingos in the world, and Gourry finally has his dream come true. So.now even Nova-chan no know what she said.^_^  
  
Disclaimer: I wish, I wish upon some fish that I owned the Slayers.  
  
Xelloss: You can own me for only ten cents a minute!  
  
Nova-chan: __Slap!__  
  
Xelloss: ^_^  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Gourry Gabriev was a happy sort of person. I'm not saying he wasn't a bit stupid, but happy, none-the-less. Gourry enjoyed the simple things in life: scissors, tacos, paper mache`.  
  
It was on a certain day in early spring when Gourry had a revelation.  
  
"Lina, I think I ripped my pants."  
  
"It's all a part of golf, Gourry," she reassured him.  
  
Lina and the others were on a miniature golf course. How they ended up there is not for me to say.  
  
They were all wearing tacky plaid golf outfits, sans Xelloss, who was wearing his tennis clothes.  
  
"It's your turn again, Lina-chan," Xelloss announced, cheerfully.  
  
Lina sighed. It was the fifth hole and she still hadn't even come close to getting one in. She steadily walked up to the tee, readied her putter, swung, and.missed again.  
  
She stomped her feet and growled. "IT'S SOOOO UNFAIR!!" She trodded off the green.  
  
Zelgadis was next, but after the first hole, he had forfeited after Lina threatened to kill him because he was so perfect at it.  
  
Xelloss and Gourry had already had their turns, so they moved on to the next hole.  
  
This was the sixth hole and had a castle in the middle of the green. The group eyes it suspiciously.  
  
Suddenly, a little robot king-like person walked out of the castle with a cup of coffee in his hands. Once he had walked as far as his programming allowed him, he dumped out his coffee.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Zelgadis screamed, clutching his heart. "Th-that king.wasted COFFEE!!!"  
  
"Get over it, Zel. It's not like it was real or anything," Lina said, rolling her eyes.  
  
Zelgadis looked around nervously. "Of.of course it's not real.nothing here is real.MUAHAHAHA!! NOTHING IS REAL!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"  
  
"Riiiight," Gourry said, inching from the panicking chimera.  
  
Well, needless to say, Lina didn't get that hole either.  
  
On the seventh hole, nothing at all was there. Just a hole and some fake grass.  
  
When Xelloss was about to swing, a flamingo popped out of the ground and said, "Kill me!"  
  
It went back down, then came back up, and said, "Love me!"  
  
Xelloss was beginning to get frightened by this point.  
  
It popped back out and said, "Eat me!"  
  
"Aaah!" Xelloss cried.  
  
The others could only stare on, a little freaked out, of course.  
  
"Hug me! . Slap me! . Destroy me! . Kiss me! . Fillet me! . Cherish me! . Bite me! . Skewer me! . Digest me! ."  
  
"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!!!!!" Xelloss screamed, lunging for the possessed flamingo.  
  
Zelgadis, Lina, and Gourry watched on in horror as the Mazoku whacked the flamingo into the ground until the only thing left was the voicebox that was repeating, "Destroy.destroy.destroy."  
  
Xelloss laughed maniacally. "Muahaha!! NOW I __WILL__ DESTROY THEM ALL!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"" And he flew away to Florida to destroy all the flamingoes.  
  
"Um.anyway." Lina said.  
  
  
  
  
  
Finally.  
  
They had come to the eighteenth hole.  
  
Lina hadn't gotten a hole in one all day. Zelgadis was still in shock of the king-coffee incident, and Xelloss was still in Florida trying to kill all the flamingoes.  
  
Since Gourry and Lina were the only two left playing, Gourry went first.  
  
He pulled back his putter, prepared to swing and.  
  
"Cluck! Cluck! Cluck!!!" said a robot roasted chicken that was sitting on a throne over the hole, wearing a big golden crown.  
  
Gourry's eyes filled with tears. "Big chicken!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!"  
  
The swordsman leaped to reunite with his beloved chicken.which broke away from the rest of its mechanical workings and electrocuted Gourry.  
  
Gourry, who was now as crispy as the chicken, smiled and saw, "Aw, I love you too."  
  
Lina threw her putter on the ground. "I give up!"  
  
"I need coffee," Zelgadis said, sadly.  
  
"Aw, don't worry, Zel," Gourry said, comfortingly. "I'm sure Xelloss won't be able to destroy the ENTIRE flamingo population."  
  
"And like I care if he does?"  
  
  
  
Elsewhere.  
  
"MUAHAHAHA!! DIE FLAMINGOES, DIE!!!!"  
  
  
  
-How was it, minna-san? I hope it was liked. ^_^ I have a couple of ideas for my next fic. (Don't worry Guy-chan, I'm still gonna do all of yours, but now that my brain's working, I thought I'd let the people vote on what they wanna see.)  
  
Gourry's fifty reasons of why you should never run with scissors.  
  
Nagha's come to town! Nosebleeds, galore.  
  
Another romance fic, I am open to any couples, even yaoi, or yuri.  
  
A different series fic!  
  
Zelgadis' 100 reasons why coffee rules.  
  
Send in your votes!  
  
-Nova-chan ^_^ 


End file.
